❤️ Finding a Loving Partner — How to Actually Do It? Part 2
❤️ Finding a Loving Partner — How to Actually Do It? Part 2
If you’re looking for a companion and feel like you’ve found someone suitable, what do you think — should you immediately forgive all the strange quirks of this new and exciting partner? 🤔
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After all, in a relationship you’re supposed to forgive, and you’re a good person if you forgive… right? 🙄
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My firm recommendation is this: anything that feels odd, unpleasant, confusing, hurtful, or like a betrayal in the beginning — ask your partner friendly questions about it.
Ask why they reacted that way, why they behaved like that, or what exactly they meant when they said something.
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Asking such questions kindly gives you a huge amount of information about the kind of person you’re dealing with.
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For example:
If you receive an answer where they calmly explain why they acted or spoke the way they did, and their intentions were good and logical, then you know you’re dealing with a grounded person who values you and responds with clarity and warmth so that you can feel safe and understand the situation.
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But if the answer you get is something like:
“That’s none of your business,” “Stop sticking your nose everywhere,” “What a stupid question,” or “How can you not understand?” — then please don’t feel guilty for asking.
Instead, understand that you’re dealing with someone who does not value you (or likely anyone else), lacks empathy, prioritizes themselves, and diminishes others.
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Which type of person would you want to be with?
A: someone who values you and always kindly explains things — and remember, no one can read minds, neither men nor women.
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B: someone who mocks your questions, belittles you, prioritizes themselves, and never explains their actions or words, leaving you confused — and likely will never change. In their mind, you are always at fault.
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Important:
The beginning of a relationship is not the time for endless forgiveness — it’s the time for friendly questions so you can understand who you’re dealing with.
If you don’t dare to ask simple questions or think it’s impolite, then you’re lacking confidence — and that’s not a good foundation for a balanced relationship. In that case, I recommend working on rebuilding your self-confidence, because a relationship can only be as healthy as your ability to communicate your needs.
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Know this: the moment someone treats you disrespectfully, be ready to walk away — especially at the beginning, but honestly, always.
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No one respects a person who tolerates poor treatment. You also cannot respect yourself if you allow others to treat you badly. Without respect, interest fades, and what remains is the desire to control or even manipulate.
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Did you know that one of the strongest foundations of a long and healthy relationship is deep respect for your partner?
(And taking your partner for granted is definitely not a foundation for a good relationship.)
Respect is the cornerstone of love.
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So, at the beginning of a relationship — contrary to what many people in love tend to do — the key is to ask reasonable questions and listen with genuine interest.
Not to think: “Ah, they’ll understand eventually… they’ll change… others are worse anyway…”
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The sooner you understand who you’re dealing with — and if this person is not what you’d call a “high‑value partner” — the easier it is to leave.
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And then you can move forward more quickly toward someone with real long‑term potential. You’ll also be wiser from the experience, which makes your next decision easier and faster.
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This is not a threat, but your partner must know that if they behave badly, you will leave.
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I once had a male client in hypnotherapy whose father hit his mother once when he and his brother were small. Even though his father apologized, the mother left with both children and never returned.
For her, one incident of unacceptable behaviour — after years of peaceful life — was enough. Her decision to value herself and not fall into despair like “but he’s the father of my children, he won’t do it again…” left a lifelong impression on my client.
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He told me: “I would never hit a woman. It wouldn’t even cross my mind. I saw with my own eyes how ugly and humiliating it is. I would never sink to that level.”
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Children learn from their parents’ example, not from the lessons parents preach but don’t follow.
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And you, dear reader — fall in love! Falling in love is wonderful!
Just remember to bring your mind with you and ask gentle clarifying questions. That’s how you gain clarity.
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Imagine coming home after a long and stressful workday, and you KNOW that a smiling partner is waiting for you, asking how your day was. Your partner listens to you, asks how he can help. You feel supported, and suddenly, you might even find the solution to the problem at work because you feel so understood and supported 💖 💖 💖
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If you need help rebuilding your confidence so you can ask questions and feel secure, know that an experienced hypnotherapist — that is me — is just one call away.
You can book a call through Calendly: https://calendly.com/kati-paeorg
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I wish you an exciting journey toward finding a supportive partner 💖
In the picture it is me with my sweetheart exploring monks’ caves carved into the rock 🥰👩❤️👨🥰
